No One Likes Detours

Well, it's been almost a month since my last entry. (Unless you count my awful anti-love rant that has since been removed. Sorry folks, it was a bad week. haha) I have a ton of stuff I could write about, but I'm sure no one wants to read a novel about my July activities so I'll just give a quick recap, more for the future me then anything else.
(There is a quality entry after all these pictures, skip ahead if you'd like)

I had people over for the 4th of July. It was fun.

I had fresh bruschetta and watermelon martinis with mom one day.

I went to Mystic Aquarium with a couple friends. It was a really fun summer day trip. After Mystic we grabbed food in Narragansett, drove around enjoying the beautiful weather and finished the night at Fat Belly's in Warwick where I enjoyed a delicious Strawberry Milkshake Martini! Yum!

There was a crazy storm one afternoon and a large portion of one of my trees broke and fell into the street. Fortunately it didn't damage anything. And since it was blocking the street the city came and took care of it for me :)

Lillie and I hid in my room...

 

Last weekend I went to a friend's bridal shower. The theme was vintage tea party and I went all out getting dressed up. I curled my hair, applied vintage makeup and bought a dress. I'd like to practice my vintage look and maybe do it more often. Unfortunately the baby blue contacts I wore that day I can't wear anymore. I had bought them along with purple and green pairs online and one of them did some nice damage to my eyes and one even got infected. So...no more awesome colored eyes for me :(

Her mom did a wonderful job with everything. The table looked beautiful and she went to antique stores to get all the tea sets she used for the table and as favors. I LOVE the one with the yellow flowers!

 

And finally, step two of the beer brewing process (bottling) is complete! We chose the name Spontaneous Bierleichen (German for "beer corpse") since it's an Oktoberfest, we spontaneously decided to brew it and if you drink too much you'll become a beer corpse! (I guess...?)  Honestly, I probably won't even like the beer. I'm not a big fan of Oktoberfest. But it was still fun to be part of the brewing process.

So now on to what I really wanted to write about today. As you may or may not know, the main reason I started this blog was to track my journey of weight loss and positive life changes. Now you might assume that since my entries have been much less frequent lately and about every topic except weight loss and life changes that I may have fallen off track. Well, you'd be exactly right!

I haven't been counting calories regularly in 6-8 weeks. For the most part I've still tried to make healthy food choices, but there have also been a lot of unhealthy meals/days. Fried seafood, ice cream, goodies at work...I even had an Awful Awful (thick milkshake from a local restaurant/ice cream place for non Rhode Islanders) yesterday. It was my treat for being such a good girl at the eye doctors. ::rolls eyes:: BUT, I did get the reduced fat version (whatever that means) so there's that? I have also let my busy social life become an excuse to drink more often and not think about what I'm eating as much. I'm thrilled I've been so busy and have been doing so much, but I'm not happy that I have been making poor choices while doing them.

All that being said, even though my weight has fluctuated a bit from week to week, I weigh the same now as I did 6 weeks ago. Now considering the choices I've been making lately, that is fabulous! But that is also 6 weeks I could have been losing weight. Even if I only lost 1lb a week that would have put me under my next goal. Bummer. I'm still leaps and bounds ahead of where I was a year ago, or even 7 months ago...but I know I can do better. I WANT to do better.

Now I know it's not all about numbers, I just don't feel as good. It's not even really a physical thing, though that is part of it, it's mostly mental. I thought clearer, was in better spirits, loved spending quiet nights alone pampering myself or reading a book. I felt more connected to myself. My soul just felt lighter. (if that makes any sense) And although I'm sure what I'm putting into my body has a lot to do with my mental state, I also think that having that time alone and knowing each day I'm closer to my goal of a better life just makes everything better. More balanced. Harmonious. It's something I didn't realize was there until it was gone.

 I've lost focus of taking care of myself. I've been distracted by guys, dating, parties and friends. I've been enjoying myself, but the instant gratification I get out of drinking or indulging in unhealthy food isn't nearly as great as the long term gratification I was feeling when I was exercising, eating healthy, taking care of my yard and taking care of myself. It's so easy to get distracted, to wander off course. I don't know about everyone else but I allow some of these distractions to define who I am and what my self worth is. "Oh, if I don't go out with friends on the weekend I'm a loser", "Eating at home and cooking a healthy meal is boring" I've cried more and felt more down on myself in the last 6 weeks then I have in a very long time. It's time to change things. To find balance in my life.

So starting today I'm back on track to living my better life; the detour is over. I will allow myself alcohol once a week max, will count my calories religiously (I already went grocery shopping so I have no excuses to not eat right) and exercise at least 30 minutes a day. I've redrawn my little chart on my fridge with my daily goals and will stop avoiding looking at it when I walk by it. By announcing this to the world (or the 10 people who read my blog) is proof to myself I am serious about this. I will feel accountable and not want to let my faceless readers down. One day hopefully it will be enough to not want to let myself down.

A plus side to having an infected eye and not being able to wear contacts for at least a week is it got me to go get new glasses! They are Tiffany frames. Oh la la! (My last two frame purchases are the only designer brand purchases I've ever made. haha) I knew as soon as I put them on they were perfect for me. They're really close to my old pair, which is what I wanted but the shape of the frame is a little more feminine and I love the key on the side. The key to my heart? Perhaps...but no one's getting my glasses!

That's all for now. I'm going to do my best to start writing every day again, or at least a few times a week. This truly is a therapeutic outlet for me, even if I'm the only one who reads it. So what if I'm my own biggest fan? I wouldn't want it any other way.