Maybe that was a little harsh, but I'm pretty mad at myself. Since Friday night I have not been sticking to my diet at all. Saturday I started off good, but then I was training at work and didn't have time for a break (totally an excuse. I could have made time) so I made myself and my coworker a panini for lunch. (complete with bacon!) Then since I didn't get my Mac and Cheese Friday I thought, "Oh, I'll just make a box of mac and cheese with skim milk and it'll satisfy my craving!" Nope. So then I had strawberry ice cream. (with rainbow sprinkles of course!)
Yesterday I had a good breakfast, then I wanted to try making a new pizza at work. Bacon ricotta scallion, complete with an olive oil and garlic rubbed crust. (yes it was as amazing as it sounds) So of course I has to sample it. 5 times. Then I thought, "OK! 1/2 slice (it's a big slice) of pizza isn't the end of the world! I'll just eat healthy the rest of the night." I knew I was going to a bar to see a friend's band play so I had a healthy snack before I went and planned on just having a couple light beers. 5 (6? I lost count) beers later I'm heading to stop and shop because I want a stuffie, and mac and cheese. Again. I stepped on the scale this morning and almost cried. I had gained the entire 9lbs I had lost last week back. Hopefully it's just temporary and I'm retaining fluid from all the salt and cheese I've been eating (maybe?) but damn...why did it get hard again all of a sudden?!
Today I've stayed on track, but it's been really hard. I don't understand how I was barely hungry and couldn't eat large portions last week and now I want to eat everything in site. I blame the pizza on Friday. Someone compared rewarding yourself with food when you're trying to lose weight to an alcoholic rewarding themselves for being sober with a drink. At first I was just thinking, well yea, that's just silly. But now I'm thinking there's more too it. I really am ADDICTED to food. And once I had a taste of the delicious unhealthy stuff now all I want is more more more. Damn it!! And working in a kitchen makes it so freaking hard! It's like an alcoholic brewing beer. Or a meth head with a lab in his house. It's a recipe for disaster! (pun totally intended)
Anyway. I bought a new bed set today. I went to Target for The Hunger Games (can't wait to start it) and a few groceries and checked out with $180 worth of merchandise. Oops. My old one served a good 3 years and I loved it, but it was looking pretty crummy. I'm not sure I really like the new one. It's nice in the bag but the dark purple and gray against my pale yellow walls...eh. It's going to take some getting used to. And now my curtains don't match! (such a hard life I have) Lillie has claimed my old comforter as her new throne. I don't blame her, it's a sweet comforter and she has good taste just like her mama.
I had an amazing, super romantic dream last night about a guy who I am assuming is a hybrid of a few guys I know. I hope it's a glimpse into the future! (minus the weird trippy parts with myself running down a long hall of high school lockers and my mom and I being kicked out of a Patriots football concert or something....?) Tomorrow I plan to do day 2 of the Couch to 5K plan, but I think I'm just going to call it day 1 again since it's been so long since the last time I went. Then hopefully the weather will cooperate so I can finish weeding my garden, but it looks pretty wet out there.
Oh! For any of you dieters out there looking for a yummy sweet dessert that's also super easy and inexpensive I have a recipe for you! I got it from a Weight Watchers meeting years ago and I plan on making it either tonight or tomorrow.
Pineapple Angel food Cake
1 box store bought angel food cake mix1 can crushed pineapple, including juice
Combine the cake mix and the pineapple. Do not add the water as instructed on the back of the box. The box instructs to cook it in a tube pan, but I found recipes online which say you can use a 9x9 pan, or a 9 x13 pan. Bake as directed on the box, but keep an eye on it as the different sized pans may effect the cooking times slightly.
1/12 of the cake is 166 calories.
1/20 is 100 calories (I recommend the 9x13 if you're going to cut it that small)
It doesn't get much easier then that! I plan on tossing fresh sliced strawberries with a package of Truvia, letting them sit the whole day to get nice and sweet and juicy then putting some on top of my slice. Along with a dollop of light cool whip, (only 20 calories per serving) that's a dessert fit for a queen!
Well, my acorn squash is almost done and The Hunger Games is calling my name. I hope I can get back on track and stay there! Wish me luck!
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